Thankful

This vintage image courtesy of the Graphics Fairy

Would love to visit France one day....it's probably just a dream though.

MY YEAR my 2011.....a year I would probably rather forget.
Well tomorrow will be the first day of 2012.
What will this new year bring?
I have had a roller coaster of a year in 2011.
Housebound due to back pain.
Told there was nothing to be done to help me.
My Dad and Mum came up exactly one year ago to the day and said it was simply not good enough...I had no quality of life.
We looked up a certain neurosurgeon practise on the internet....
In 2010 one of the partners had operated on my brother and got him almost pain free and back to work.
One of the partners comes up to Toowoomba once a month.
I duly booked an appointment with him not expecting much...I had had so many doors closed to me over the last 17 years.
He said my back was 'a mess'...no surprises there....he could perform an operation on me that would help. He asked which part of my spine was causing me the most pain. I told him and he said that the MRI confirmed that fact.
A Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion or TLIF for short.
He could do it within the month...but in Brisbane
He was a lovely man....did not rush me or my shocked hubby.... Answered all and every question we could think of on the spot.
Such HUGE news for us....we walked out of that office and I burst into un-controllable sobbing....ushered into a side room to gather my emotions.....I walked out and all heads in the waiting room turned to me and I pronounced...it's all good.....it's good news not bad.... Walked out into the hot February sunshine...floating on air...We both were shocked, felt like we had won the lottery.

This image courtesy of The Graphics Fairy

(Since 1994 my pain has progressed and worsened. Can't drive, hold down a job, do many household chores, can't queue, can't grocery shop, can't travel in vehicles very well, can't travel in a vehicle that is towing a caravan or trailer at all, can't sit much, can't garden, can't hold my nieces and nephews....the boring list goes on. Everything hurt in varying degrees but mainly everything just plain hurt).

The original operation was scheduled for March but ended up having it in May due to some problems with bladder infections interfering and holding things up etc.
Spent 10days in hospital...I won't lie the pain was cruel, but there was an end goal in sight...
Then spent 3 weeks at my parents house as we live about 3 hours drive from Brisbane and it was too much.
Arrived home about one month after the operation. Was walking everyday. It was deep winter so was VERY cold and walking was fun after all these years of suffering. It actually felt good to walk again. Before long I was walking so well that my husband was complaining that he could not keep up with me...just like years ago...YAY!
Was progressing really well. Could walk up to 3 kms in just over 30 minutes... a BIG indicator that the TLIF had worked.

THEN LIKE A FOOL...
Two months after the operation I fell over backwards and the pain was worse that it had ever been.

So now at 5 months since the fall, I have been back to see the Neurosurgeon twice. I have had a CT scan, bone scan and MRI. It seems I need two more TLIF's at levels above and below my original TLIF.....EWWWW!!!!!!

The first TLIF cost us roughly $13,000 after Medicare and Private Health Fund, but any more will only be bulk billed so that's a relief!!!
It's a lot to take in....

Recently saw a Pain Management Specialist in Toowoomba at the suggestion of my Neurosurgeon....he performed a diagnostic facet joint injection procedure in Day Surgery.
He thought that indicated enough of a result to go ahead with a Radiofrequency Ablation at one level below and 2 levels above the L5/L6 TLIF one week later.
Had the RFA 2 and a half weeks ago. Not much to report.
Still much the same pain as before.
So either it's taking its own sweet time to work or or it's not going to work at all.
I heard it can take up to 6 weeks to work....

My daughter is due to have her baby in 5 weeks. She lives a 3 hr car crive away. I really want and she really wants me to be there for her.
It's not too much to desire it it?

I have been housebound for the entire year except for medical appointments.
I have done nothing fun out of the house.
I don't know how I have not gone mad.
I did have my 50th this year and there were 17 here all up to celebrate.

That was before I fell over and wrecked the surgery.
Anyhow I am hoping for a better 2012 than my 2011...it's only a date on the calender, but I would really like to draw a line under 2011 and hope for better things to come.

Cornucopia and hopefully new beginnings

This is a sweet little gift I made for a friend a while ago.

It was a lot of fun to make, in fact I have made a few of them now and have given them all as gifts.

One day I will have to make one for myself.

Hope you all have a great day and get a chance to make something.

Today I want to try out some new

Spellbinders Nestabilities

I recently bought on ebay and maybe just maybe I will get a card or two made....

very optimistic of me.

My back is no better.

I am still taking very strong pain killers and valium for the muscle spasms.

Why oh why was I such an idiot to be up on a stool and get off safely only to overbalance and fall completely backwards????

This occurred 10 weeks post-op and 6 weeks ago, when I was starting to feel quite a bit better and wanted to change something in my sewing room after I was inspired

by

Where Bloggers Create 2011

It makes me so cranky and sad to think I may have ruined my operation.

I'm sure you all know what it's like....all the time thinking of creating and making your home, garden, sewing room, whatever more appealing and just so.

I have not been for a decent walk since the fall and it's all very upsetting to me.

Just before I fell I was walking up to nearly 3 km in half an hour.

Now I am flat out walking around the house.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Oh well what's done is done.

I just have to hope that this is a temporary set back and things will right themselves eventually. 

All the thoughts I had lying in hospital for the 10 days post-op are now maybe just dreams.....

Thoughts of maybe I can be comfortable in a car as a passenger. maybe I will be able to go to the shops without pain, maybe just maybe I'll actually be able to drive a car again after 16 yrs. Maybe I'll be able to hold my soon to be born grandchild.....

Lots of maybes..... but also lots of hope.

Oh well in the end I know GOD has me in the palm of his hand and what will be will be.

Maybe my life will never be as I want it to be, but it's hard seeing other people just go about their business without restrictions due to immobility and pain.

And I did have a normal active life until 1994 and even for quite a few yrs could vaccum and clean etc then sewing became a problem and everything seemed to slip away until last October 2010 when I was rendered un-able to hardly much of anything.

My parents are like 20 yr olds compared to me, so I did not inherit this bad spine from them.

I know there are plenty of others in the world way worse than me but this disability takes it toll mentally and my husband, kids, parents and friends are all very supportive and helpful.

I would just like to take that worry away from them and get on with life.

I thank GOD that throughout all of this my sense of humour is always uppermost.

I love a good joke, crack plenty and love to hear them, so that is a major blessing especially in the face of the unknown outcome of my back operation and subsequent fall.

I'll leave you with this sentiment.....

Expect the dawn of a new beginning

in the

dark nights of life

Lloyd John Ogilvie

Giving walking another go

It's been a slow process of recovery since my major back surgery on 13th May this year. After staying with my parents for 3 weeks after 10 days in hospital I finally arrived home 11 days ago. Was up to 2 x 20 minute walks per day and then last Friday that all stopped. I had new pain and was not up to walking around much at all. This morning my DH put my lace ups on for me and I went for a little walk of about 6 mins. I was not walking as fast as before last Friday and it all felt quite tender but never-the-less I did it.

Sitting is still a big problem, I just don't like doing it at all. Sick of lying, sick of it all quite frankly.
I don't think this cold weather is helping any either. Wish I could fast forward a few months. I was very hopeful of a new life after this surgery until last Friday when it all seemed to go pear shaped. Only time will tell of course.
My neurosurgeon said recovery could take up to 12 months. Even though my walking has deteriorated in the last 5 days it is still better than before the TLIF so I suppose that is something isn't it?
My weight loss still continues, even though it is hard going at the moment in such cold weather.
Since I first found out about this surgery on 7th February this year I have lost approximately 9kgs. All my own doing, and hardly any exercise (due to back pain and disability).
If you want to find out how I lost the weight, just ask me.